i · told · you · sow.

huh?

when the fuck did everyone around me become mindless mouths?
and those i used to love reduced to mouthless minds (always thinking what they'll say but never saying it)
and the self i love is the same old fucker
less mind less mouth
all thought and no consequence.

i've reduced millions of precious seconds into two words: fuck that. i look forward to the moments to come as if they matter, but six years from now i'll still be three years behind, still cussing out math equations, still bald in ego and deaf in pride. and whatever god has mercy, may it have mercy on you for attempting... though if you stuck to the attempt long enough to 'try' may the mercy god extends only apply to how quickly you falter.

i use big words when i'm meaningless.

i just want to drive through america and discover something.
that's how i feel.

but
it's the little things
like your little brother waking up at 3:27 a.m. and pouring himself a bowl of cereal.
all alone at the head of the table, with one light on. not stopping to talk, just munch munch munch. chasing down each individual cheerio with his spoon. munch.
when he's finished i send him back to bed and he happily complies.

that's why life is beautiful.

to be completed in no practical manner:

1) fall out of love with yourself
2) fall in love with the world
3) find yourself, fall out of the world,
a-fall in love with yourself again.
4) figure out what makes you happy
who
why
5) does she even know you're alive
6) obviously
7) tame a wild animal
8) write a book, throw it away
9) 10:00 what time is it
10) never convince yourself you're 'okay'
11) when you're 'okay' you're 'dead'.
12) never underestimate the power of belief
13) believe in yourself

and finally
14) get some sexy new outfits